Am I bit old to be giving false names for my Starbucks coffee?

By Justine O'Mahony

Published 24/09/2016 | 00:00

There was fierce excitement this week with the opening of Starbucks in town.

When I say 'Fierce Excitement' I actually mean I personally was fiercely excited because I absolutely love Starbucks! Not because of their coffee, although I'm sure that's perfectly fine, but because of their ordering system.

So, if you haven't been to Starbucks, the way it goes is-you queue up, order your coffee, they ask for your name and then you wait to be called.

The first time I visited a Starbucks was in San Francisco (such a globetrotter!) back in 1997. It was my first holiday away with Himself so there was a lot of pressure on to have a good time.

We stopped at a Starbucks one day and queued for coffee. When the guy in front of me was asked for his name, he said it was Elvis. I assumed he was joking (It was my first time in America. I didn't know people could ACTUALLY be called Elvis!) and thought it was hilarious.

When it was my turn I said my name was Forrest Gump. The server never batted an eyelid and when they called me for my coffee, myself and Himself could barely stand up we were laughing so much.

From that day on, every time we go to a Starbucks, I give a different celebrity's name and collapse in hysterics when they call it.

Himself doesn't find it as funny these days. 'Seriously you're a bit old to be doing this,' he said last Christmas in Kildare Village when I gave my name as Beyonce.

You can imagine my excitement when I discovered they were opening in my home town. I could pretend to be someone famous for five minutes every day for the rest of my life, providing I could afford their cappuccinos.

After collecting The Youngest from school last Friday I announced that we were going to Starbucks. She stared at me suspiciously. 'Why?'

'For coffee you LooLa' I told her.

'I don't like coffee,' she replied.

'Well you can have a hot chocolate then.'

She looked at me out of the corner of her eye. 'You're not going to pretend to be Taylor Swift again are you?' Crap! I was rumbled.

'Nooooooo. I thought maybe today I'd be...Madonna,' I said thinking quickly. 'Who are you going to be?'

She's quiet for a minute and then replies. 'I'm going to be me.' This totally stumped me.

'But you can't be you! You have to be someone famous,' I tell her. 'Why not be Katy Perry?'

'I don't want to be someone famous. I just want to be me. And when the waitress asks my name, I'm going to tell her and I'm going to tell her I'm amazing!'

Sometimes I wonder who's the adult and who's the child.

Wexford People

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