Damn those Spanish sizes! And we paid for it at the airport too...
So I made it back from holidays with five new handbags, four new pairs of shoes and an excess baggage charge of €120.
A heated argument with the check in Bag, (Ooops sorry 'Lady') failed to move her to leave us off. She wouldn't budge despite us opening our cases and squashing everything we could think of into our carry on bags.
'I don't understand why you're charging us for excess baggage when if we'd put it in our carry on luggage it wouldn't have mattered. All it is, is moving it from one bag to another. It's all weight and it's going on the one plane,' I argued reasonably.
She just glared and told me to move to the side.
To be perfectly honest we weren't that surprised. We had bought so much that we lied and told people we met in the airport we had been there for a month, so embarrassed were we by the load we'd amassed in the space of a week.
Of course when we arrived home to the Other Halves we all denied ownership of the ten handbags we'd bought between us. You can imagine who got the blame.
'I swear to God they are not all mine. Only five of them are,' I told Himself who replied that he didn't believe the Hail Mary out of my mouth.
I suspect he was a bit miffed because the shorts I bought him wouldn't fasten despite me buying him the size he told me he was.
'I knew they wouldn't fit you! You haven't been that size since we got married.'
'Ah no,' he says, holding his stomach in and trying to close the buttons. 'It's those feckin Spanish sizes. They're way smaller than ours.'
'No. We're just fatter,' I retorted, grabbing a handful of spare flesh of my own.
I was having my own difficulties trying to beat myself into a pair of white jeans that will never come past my knees.
'Must be the plane. I always get bloated after being on a plane' I muttered tossing them aside in favour of my pyjamas. Nothing to do with the obscene amounts of crusty bread, crisps and doughnuts I ate on holidays!
Never mind. The main thing is we got home in time to vote in the Referendum which saw us become the first country in the world to vote for same sex marriage. What an amazing achievement and what a proud day for us Irish.
It's the first referendum I can recall, that I have felt passionate about and to see it being passed was extremely emotional. It will change the lives of so many people that I care about, giving them finally, the equality they have deserved all along.
And the best bit is that there should be a few wedding invitations winging their way to me in the near future so all those new shoes and handbags will come in very handy!
That's what you call forward planning!