I buy so much that I could now probably set up at a car boot sale
Published 23/06/2015 | 00:00
Himself has been complaining that I've been spending way too much money.
That's nothing new. Show me a husband that has ever said to his wife, 'honey you know you really should spend more money?'
That's like a man offering to do the washing up or putting a new toilet roll on the holder when the old one runs out. It never happens.
His favourite story to tell other people is that I think my credit card limit is actually a target! He thinks this is really funny. I don't. I know full well it's a limit. I just like to push the boundaries a bit!
Anyways he's watching me like a hawk. I've had to tell the courier guy who delivers my online purchases to leave them with my neighbour and I collect them when the coast is clear. I do the same for her. We've a right little smuggling operation going on.
On the odd occasion he notices that I'm wearing something new I tell him it was €29.99. Everything costs €29.99 in my world. 'It's amazing how everything you own cost €29.99,' he commented the other day. I pushed the Zara box further under the bed and said nothing.
The problem is I've started to run out of space. Every wardrobe in the house has my stuff in it and the other problem is I keep buying clothes that don't actually fit me, in the hope that once I embark on one of my fitness campaigns (which also never happens) they'll fit me like a glove.
As a result I have a wardrobe full of dresses, skirts and jeans that are all just a tad too tight. And they're getting tighter! No amount of dieting has helped...Well ok I haven't actually done any dieting but I know it won't make a difference. It's a fact of life you get roundier as you get older!
I've been filling black bin bags and giving them to skinnier family and friends, which I have to admit really sticks in my craw. I hand over the bag while at the same time silently praying they'll get fat some day and have to wear elasticated trousers and crocs-the biggest sartorial faux pas anyone can make!
Meanwhile I've been thinking of starting a car boot sale. This shopping habit of mine has the potential to be a right little money spinner if I could find the right location and maybe a bigger boot. My Fiat 500 doesn't hold more than one shopping bag and a six pack of beer!
They're all the rage in London apparently and people make a tidy living out of them. I could be the next Del Boy, touting my wares around Ireland! carbootaporter! Himself can be my Rodney, balancing the books and moaning. He's good at both of those things!
Anyone want to buy a fake fur coat?