My 11 year old has already discovered a fine taste for make up
So The 11 Year old has discovered make up. At first I was kind of delighted. She skipped the whole dolls phase of childhood which left me feeling a bit cheated. I had been looking forward to us bonding over Baby Born and picking outfits for Barbie for her date nights with Ken.
But she showed absolutely no interest despite me spending a fortune in Smyths trying to entice her with dolls that did everything bar make a cup of tea for you. So I was secretly quite pleased initially when she asked me could she look at my make up one day. Then she asked me could I buy her some make up. Obviously I wasn't going t let her parade the town, as my mother used to say, wearing war paint but I thought 'sure there's no harm in her playing with it at home.'
Into Penneys we went and she filled a basket with dodgy coloured eye shadows, sickly pink blushers and enough lip glosses to keep the Kardashians going for a decade. She came home and locked herself in her bedroom for days trying out different looks, only showing us when she thought she'd perfected it.
Then she started asking for the Mac! The Mac I tell you! For those of you not beauty aficionados, Mac is a premium cosmetic brand, only sold in Brown Thomas and certainly not something you'd be buying for 11 year old daughters.
I refused. 'You are too young to be wearing make up anyway. When you're older I'll buy it for you.' She retreated to her bedroom silently and to be honest I thought I'd gotten off lightly. But you don't do you? Get off lightly with 11 year old girls.
Going into the bathroom the following evening to dolly myself up, I found my good Yves Saint Laurent Foundation resting on its side with the lid off. My Chanel bronzer had been gouged with what looked like an 11 year old finger and my mac eyeshadows had all been mixed together.
I shouted like a banshee for the culprit who appeared before me complete with smokey eye and flickey eyeliner. I forgot about giving out to her. 'Where'd you learn to do that?' I asked gobsmacked.
'Oh...you know...just watched some tutorials on Youtube,' she replied nonchalantly. 'That's really good, what did you use?' I asked in awe, totally forgetting to behave like a responsible parent and far more interested in upskilling my cosmetic abilities.
'Ummmmm, well first I used this primer,' she says taking a bottle of something that I didn't even know I had, never mind what it was for! 'Then I applied a light layer of foundation, then some high definition powder (who knew there was such a thing?) then a little bronzer, then some highlighter, then a touch of blusher and then I did my eyes and finally my lips,' she pouted accordingly.
She's 11. What will she be like when she's 18?
Not employed anyway judging by how long she takes to do her face!