Poor old Santa is stressing out becauses kids are changing their minds!
What is it with bloody children changing their minds at the very last minute? Do they not realise Santa is a very feckin busy man who has more things to be doing than updating Christmas lists in the second week of December? Have they never heard of forward planning or making a decision and sticking to it?
Obviously mine haven't anyway. They think it's absolutely fine to say they want X for Christmas for months and then two weeks before The Big Day, suddenly change their mind and want Y.
And we all know how important it is that Santa gets it right. I remember one year when I was little I asked for First Love for Christmas. Santa must've been on the beer or something because I got Tiny Tears instead. I was so distraught I scribbled all over her in black pen! I was scarred for life and poor oul Tiny Tears lay in a dusty toy box for unloved toys!
So The Youngest has been tormenting us for ages to get her a phone. We have always refused on the basis...(actually I don't really know what the basis was, except Himself maintained she was too young. Not too young for an ipad, ipod and laptop mind you!)
But this year we thought maybe if she asked Santa for one he might oblige. The phone was chosen, the letter was written and the deal was more or less set in stone, assuming of course that she behaved herself in the coming days, which quite frankly, knowing my Youngest, was a bit of a stretch!
And then she watched the Toy Show last Friday night. And now apparently she doesn't want a phone any more. She wants, wait for it...a surprise! No specifics, just a surprise-'A really good surprise.'
'But what about the phone?' I enquire. 'I thought you really wanted a phone?'
'Nah. I'm not sure I'm ready for the responsibility,' she tells me. Oh sweet suffering Lamb of Lord Jesus! 'But what if Santa already made you the phone?'
She looks at me pityingly. 'You do know he doesn't actually make the phones? I think Samsung or somebody does. And sure he can give it to some other child.'
'But how will he know what kind of surprise you'd like? Should you not just drop him a note, or even an email to give him a few hints?' I suggest.
'He is SANTA! He'll know what kind of surprise. You always say Santa knows everything.' Me and my big mouth.
So now poor Santa is up in the North Pole stressed out of his head because another annoying kid has decided to change her mind at the last minute and ask for a non-specific surprise.
I blame Ryan Tubridy!