Twenty years on, my girlie holiday is likely to be more tame
Published 12/05/2015 | 00:00
I'm off on holidays this week. A girlie holiday although considering our average age we could probably call it an Aul Wan's Holiday!
The first girlie getaway I've had in over 20 years. And even though I'm only at the packing stage, I can see this is not going to be anything like the ones I had in my twenties which is just as well - my liver couldn't cope.
Back then my suitcase was full of miniscule bikinis, skimpy shorts and not much else!
This time round it's full of magic knickers, stretchy holdy inny swimsuits and food friendly dresses - the ones that hide a multitude!
On the first girlie holiday I ever went on, I don't think I ate a proper meal for the entire fortnight. We spent every penny we had on drink and survived on rolls from the local supermarket and the odd McDonalds.
We brought six boxes of Solpadeine between the two of us which allowed us to party until 6 in the morning after which we'd crash for a few hours and get up again to snooze by the pool. By the time we returned home, I didn't even know my own name!
I ended up with sunstroke having gone for a 'romantic' walk on the beach with some fella whose name escapes me, without wearing any sun lotion. My face swelled up like the Elephant Man and a doctor had to come and administer steroid injections to fix me.
Meanwhile my travelling companion would go out to the disco and bring loads of fellas back to the apartment to show them how hideous I looked!
It was a great holiday though and one that we were still paying for a year later!
But those days are gone as are the tiny bikinis and the crop tops! This time the medicine chest consists of antacid tablets, anti sickness tablets, diarrohea tablets, anti histamines, a tub of sudocreme and a packet of blister plasters - NOTHING for a hangover, as I've been told we won't need anything. You'd know they'd never been on holidays with me before!
I've packed three books, my iPod, a straw hat, a pound of Kerrygold, Barry's tea and factor 20. I plan to eat, sleep, drink, read and be merry. No children to keep an eye on in the pool or rub sunscreen on. No husband to keep happy by trekking all the gear to the beach to find the 'Perfect Spot' to plant our umbrella.
The fact I'm going with three unmarried women sounds a lot worse than it is.
One is a nurse, handy if I fall over for some reason!, one doesn't really drink (yet) and the other has more sense in her little finger than I have in my entire body!
So we'll be grand! But if you don't hear from me next week you'll know I've led them astray.
Contact Himself and get him to send in the Cavalry!