THE OTHER NIGHT I lay still in the darkness, listening as the boom of the second hand pounded its way towards midnight.

Gentle snores drifted up and down the landing from where the young lad contentedly slumbered. The good woman was downstairs, catching the end of a late-night show.

Outside, the skies had once again stripped the earth of all cover, and the frost ambushed the rooftops. And I thanked the heavens for the foresight of one Dr. Sidney I. Russell.

In the early 1900s, Dr. Russell came up with the blueprint for an electric blanket and, having found one under the Christmas tree last December, it has been put to exhaustive use ever since. While hot water bottles are all well and good, surviving the Big Freeze meant whipping out the big guns.

It got me thinking about the minds that have graced the planet and how we use their products on a daily basis. So here are some notes on a typical day in the life, and applause for their ingenuity.

The kettle. One of the first things we turn to when we rise in the morning. If not for a coffee or tea, to fill it up with water and whoosh it across the car windscreen to rid it of the night's frost. If doing so, it is important to remember not to boil the water first. (Arthur Leslie Large in 1922). The hair dryer. It saves people from running around the garden in circles until the wind has done its job. As for hair straighteners, I know some women who would rather sell their husbands than part with the GHD. (Alexandre Godefay in 1890). The car. Has to be in the top five best inventions ever. Widely accredited to the genius of Gottlieb Daimler and Karl Benz, as the brains behind developing the petrol-guzzling machine. Very few of us would survive the expectations of modern life without one.

However, no cars would mean no drunken drivers, speed demons, boy racers and getaway car drivers.

Though I'm sure they could manage the same things on a horse.

The radio

( and TV).

Almost everyone subjects their eyes and their ears to the radio or TV at some point during the day. If they didn't, they would be clueless to what is happening in the world around them. Sounds pretty Utopic to me. (Too controversial to name). The lunch hour. Take away those sixty minutes of freedom and World War III would already have begun in an office somewhere. Happy Hour comes a close second. (The boss). Paddy Power. Where most husbands really go when they say they are just popping to the shop. And sometimes the wives. (Patrick Power). The mobile phone. Should be renamed the tracking device. Once you get one, there's no turning back. Handy in an emergency. (The first mobile call was made by Dr. Martin Cooper in 1973). Chewing gum. Stops smokers and drinkers from crawling the walls when they are not smoking and drinking. (Walter Diemer in

1928). Cartoons. They keep children and adults from leaping out of windows. Hail Hanna-Barbera and Walt Disney. These people deserve Nobel Peace prizes. The pint. The perfect end to an imperfect day. (Can only have been created by God). The Internet. Although Leonard Kleinrock produced a paper on the phenomenon back in 1961, it took many more eureka moments to produce the tidy little package we have today. The Internet also makes life a bit easier for murderers, rapists, stalkers and adulterers.

TRIGGER-HAPPY CLAMPERS

The stories about people coming out of their homes and seeing their cars clamped on their own doorsteps are ridiculous. Apparently the clampers have been called in to stop non-residents leaving their vehicles parked in estates all day.

Therefore the council should devise a worker's parking permit at a lower cost, and then they would not be forcing people to park in housing estates around the town.

Not forgetting that people working in a town consistently contribute to the local economy too.

HAIM A 'LOST BOY'

Last week saw the passing of American actor Corey Haim. While there is a whole generation that has no idea who the 38-year-old was, you could do worse than take this opportunity to hunt out a classic and watch the 'Lost Boys'.

He was popular with young people growing up in the '80s and even inspired Dublin band The Thrills to pen an ode to him. The soundtrack has a cover of The Doors' 'People are Strange' too. Great stuff.