independent

Monday 18 December 2017

The hot weather finally arrives, and some still manage to complain

By Justine O'Mahony

There was major news last week. No Trump wasn't given Irish citizenship nor did Leo Varadkar announce that he was actually straight and was only joking about being half Indian. No, the big news last week which made the 6 pm bulletin on Sunday evening was...the sun shone! That is fact.

We have got to be the only country in the world who carries a news story on the main evening news about the sun shining! And to be fair, I'm not even taking the mick out of RTE for carrying it because it was the only thing, anyone was talking about last week. As a nation, we are pretty good at talking about the weather. In general it would be fair to say, our weather is fairly crap and seeing that as a nation, we are also pretty good at moaning, us giving out about our shite weather has become a national pastime.

So when the sun actually raised its elusive head last week it was big news. Most of us were delighted with this turn of events and only too happy to shed a few layers. There were some people (Sun's out-Huns Out) who were happy to shed more than a few layers and paraded their pasty white limbs in too tight shorts on every street in Ireland. Still, you couldn't begrudge them could you?

Personally I wouldn't inflict my pasty white limbs on the general public and instead prefer to flaunt my fake tanned ones, but you know, horses for courses! I was so happy to finally get a chance to wear a summer dress without having to put thermal underwear on underneath that I was prepared to turn a blind eye to a few Huns in hotpants!

But you can't please everybody can you? There's always a few. The ones who spend 51 weeks of the year complaining about the perishing cold and when the sun finally shines, they're saying it's too hot, 'roastin'' in fact.

'Jesus I'm meltin'' says a woman to her friend in the fruit and veg aisle of Aldi last weekend. 'I wouldn't be able for this heat at all.....and there's no lettuce left,' she added, pointing to the empty shelves. She then proceeded to tell the girl on the till that her husband was doing a barbecue because of the good weather.

'I hate barbeques. All they are is burnt feckin' meat. Sure that can't be good for you. And you've no lettuce left,' she told her accusingly. The till lady shrugged her shoulders. 'Everybody is buying the lettuce for the barbeques. It's because of the weather.'

'It's to get up to 26 degrees this afternoon,' says a woman behind the first woman, fanning herself with the Daily Mirror. Lettuce Lady looked horrified. 'I'm telling you, we'll all be dropping like flies. We'll have heatstroke.'

'We have airconditioning,' says Till Lady proudly looking around the supermarket. Lettuce Lady grunted and the one behind her rolled her eyes. 'It hits you all the more then when you go outside.'

What will we have to talk about next week when normal service resumes?!

Wexford People

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